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That's right. No scams, tricks or lies. Just send me your money - it doesn't have to be very much - and I'll be eternally grateful. Pretty please? Ok, so you might think I'm a greedy man, and perhaps you're right, but the reality is that right now times are tough for everyone, and I thought I'd try out something a bit different to take the edge off it. I'm a freelancer and work has been a bit patchy so far this year, even though I'm more than willing and able to do an honest day's work. That's why I'm giving you some options : |
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Please use the following secure Paypal button to send whatever amount you like, and expect nothing in return apart from the fact you've made a guy out there on the internet a little bit happier. Even just a dollar if you like; I won't complain! |
Everybody likes to get a little value for money - if you send me any of the following wads of cash, I'm prepared to perform one of the attached services for the chosen amount:
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Ever wanted to know what the average person thinks of your looks? In just a few clicks, I'll give you the totally objective, brutally honest perspective you've always wished for - with some handy hints! |
| US$10 | |
US$25 | |
US$50 | US$100 |
 I will call any phone number in the world and make ANY call you don't want to make yourself. Examples : - break up with your girlfriend - quit your job - tell someone they smell BAD Whatever you want, I'll do it! OR Using my pro compositing skills, I'll photo-doctor any image you like : your face on an awesome body, you meeting celebrities, your boss having a 'personal moment', that big fish you never caught etc... If you can think it, I can doctor it! |
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 I know what you're thinking - "What? Only $25?!?!" You get to pick any song, and I get to do a very sexy dance to it and post the result on YouTube. Sorry, no nudity, but boy can I work those hips... (Also available as a gift!) OR What do you buy the man who has everything? How about a glossy, personally-signed photo of Demis from the hit website, IJustWantYourMoney.com? Perfect for wedding or birthday gifts, or just to stick it on your ceiling to gaze at as you fall asleep... |
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 Got something you always wanted to know? Maybe you need some relationship advice? Ask any question, and I'll post you a VIDEO REPLY via YouTube. I used to be an editor so it'll definitely be damn cool! So ask away - I have ALL the answers... OR If it is ME you want to know all about, I accept interviews for the low low price of $50. As a very busy celebrity, I'll get my people to talk to yours & see if we can fit one into my busy schedule. (Interviews via Phone/Email only. TV interviews, if in Sydney.) |
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 When I think of the word "NAG" I think of my wife - possibly the best nagger in the entire world. If there's something you REALLY can't afford to put off, let her rule your life for ONE WEEK with some constant, scheduled nagging via phone/email/sms! OR Come and hang out with Demis in one of Sydney's coolest bars and enjoy a round of drinks on me! Of course YOU have to pay to get yourself to Sydney, Australia, and this offer is valid for one person, but what could be more awesome than drinks with me? |
| US$1,000 | |
US$10,000 | ||||||||||
The choice is entirely up to you, though please be mindful of certain limitations (i.e. law-breaking etc.) before you lock it in, and feel free to email me before you buy if you want to run an idea past me first. |
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But what does that get you exactly? Well, good question. Some ideas include :
Do keep in mind The Limitations i.e. no warzones, dangerous ghettos, and as much as I'd like to go there, Antartica is probably off the list this time round, purely because it costs more than this package does! (If you really want Antartica, gift me $20000 and we'll talk about doing that penguin documentary...) |
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Simply make your selection above, and once I have your cash, all instructions will be given to you on the next page - please email me if you didn't see them! All that I ask is that you keep it clean and legal, and I promise I won't pike out on you. I'm good for it, I promise! All additional instructions as to "What to do next?" will be on the page after you've sent the money. And don't worry, if I haven't heard from you, you'll definitely hear from me, cause I really don't want to be sued for not delivering on my promises! :) (In the event that I simply cannot perform one of the services for you, I'm more than happy to return 100% of your cash, with a pathetic yet reasonable explanation. Please see this list of things I won't do.) |