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Every website needs one of these, and this is no exception! Please check out the details for things I won't do for your money, and any other important information you need to know.
(And in case you missed it, ALL INSTRUCTIONS on what to do once you buy will be available to you as soon as you've made your purchase!)
I will not knowingly perform any action which violates any law, here in Australia or Worldwide, or in any way endangers the health/mortality of myself or anyone involved. I'll refuse to do any dare/phonecall/whatever which in anyway involves:
- If you buy one of those services which includes music/video/art, then you've agreed that all copyright/clearance/ownership responsibilities related to the source or finished/produced material are yours to deal with. I'm assuming you have permission for anything you send me. (Sorry, just covering my ass!)
- My decision on any matter of rejection is final, and I reserve the right to cancel & refund any dare/service if I feel like it. You'll DEFINITELY get a 100% REFUND for a cancellation of any unstarted dares/services. If you want to check something with me first, PLEASE EMAIL. .
- Any personal information collected in the course of our adventures will be kept in strictest confidence (and I won't spam you, EVER).
OPTION 1 : SEND ME YOUR MONEY
- Once you've sent me some money as a gift, its mine to keep forever. You can't change your mind! :)
$5 SPECIAL : HOT OR NOT?
- No real limits on this one, though it would be nice if you got me to review YOU rather than have me play a mean joke on one of your deformed, hideous enemies... But hey, I Just Want Your Money, so whatever floats your boat...
AWKWARD PHONECALL:
- In general this phonecall will be a minute or two, so anything like "recite the entire bible" as the message will be rejected.
- I'll try the phone number 3 times within 30 minutes of the agreed time. If they don't pick up, I'll let you know and we can arrange another time.
- I WON'T be recording the calls by default - if you want a recording, let me know IN ADVANCE so I can inform the 'victim' they're being recorded.
PHOTO DOCTORING:
- All responsibility for ownership/copyright of any sources images is yours. I'm assuming you own the rights to every image you send me to manipulate, and any trouble arising from the finished piece of art is your responsibility in every possible way.
SEXY DANCE :
- You aren't ever going to see my penis, ever, so sorry ladies/gents, don't ask!
- All responsibility for the usage of the music in the video is yours, not mine :)
- I'm not a professional dancer, but will do best to make it as entertaining as possible. If you don't like it, too bad!
AUTOGRAPHED HEADSHOT
- All that I ask is that you love it, cherish it, hold it close to your heart.
ASK DEMIS
- Any opinions expressed by me on any topic are mine alone, and if you don't like my answer, sorry! No refunds for disagreeing with me! :)
- My response is for entertainment purposes only, and should not be taken too seriously. Especially if its medical/legal advice. Of course, relationship advice, take me very seriously... call me "Dr Lurve"...
INTERVIEW
- No real limitations on this one - you want to chat (phone/skype-audio/email), you pay the $50 :)
- We both need to agree on a suitable time - once you purchase, email and we'll sort one out.
GET NAGGED AT
- Allow for some diary-shuffling on this service too, cause I don't want to get nagged for double-booking my wife!
- This one is intended to be quite useful to the purchaser: please no pranking people other people with it, or the service will be terminated with no refund after the first nag.
- If anyone attempts to get too friendly/inappropriate with my wife, your ass is mine...
DRINK WITH ME!
- We both have to agree on the bar... I've got some great suggestions.
- Valid for one person, not groups/couples. You're free to bring a friend along if you want, but hey, three's a crowd!
- Only average priced drinks allowed : I won't be buying anything I'd class as a luxury item such as expensive champagne, very old cognac etc. I'm a beer man myself, but whatever you want to drink is fine so long as it doesn't break my bank.
- Reminder : this is for SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA, and I'm only paying for our first couple of drinks. Any transportation costs are yours to arrange.
VIDEO DARE!
- Try to be as creative as possible when coming up with these... I want to have some fun too you know!
- This is only limited by needing to be filmed here in Sydney (Australia) and not cost me too much to set up!
- Please, feel free to ASK ME BEFORE YOU SPEND on this service.
DEMIS COMES TO VISIT
- This is completely open to negotiation, so please LET'S TALK NOWif you think you may want to purchase.
- I'll be paying for my own transport, accomodation, expenses during the visit.
- If you live somewhere really extreme, please keep in mind that I won't be coming if basic transport/accom there costs me close to or exceeding the $10K! :)
- I've said "for the weekend" (Sat,Sun) but if you have any other ideas for adventures that don't fit with that, I'm open to suggestions. (For instance, I'd be cool if you said we were going on a tall-ship voyage for 4 days during the week... that kind of thing!). We just need to both agree on the dates (and give me time to book!)
- You'll know if I'm gonna do it or not - remember : ASK ME BEFORE YOU SPEND on this service!