That's right. No scams, tricks or lies. Just send me your money - it doesn't have to be very much - and I'll be eternally grateful. Pretty please?

Ok, so you might think I'm a greedy man, and perhaps you're right, but the reality is that right now times are tough for everyone, and I thought I'd try out something a bit different to take the edge off it. I'm a freelancer and work has been a bit patchy so far this year, even though I'm more than willing and able to do an honest day's work.

That's why I'm giving you some options :

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OPTION 1 : Send me your money... as a gift.

Please use the following secure Paypal button to send whatever amount you like, and expect nothing in return apart from the fact you've made a guy out there on the internet a little bit happier. Even just a dollar if you like; I won't complain!

OPTION 2 : Send me your money... but make me work for it!

Everybody likes to get a little value for money - if you send me any of the following wads of cash, I'm prepared to perform one of the attached services for the chosen amount:

Ever wanted to know what the average person thinks of your looks? In just a few clicks, I'll give you the totally objective, brutally honest perspective you've always wished for - with some handy hints!

US$10    US$25    US$50    US$100   

I will call any phone number in the world and make ANY call you don't want to make yourself. Examples :
- break up with your girlfriend
- quit your job
- tell someone they smell BAD
Whatever you want, I'll do it!


Using my pro compositing skills, I'll photo-doctor any image you like : your face on an awesome body, you meeting celebrities, your boss having a 'personal moment', that big fish you never caught etc... If you can think it, I can doctor it!

I know what you're thinking - "What? Only $25?!?!" You get to pick any song, and I get to do a very sexy dance to it and post the result on YouTube.
Sorry, no nudity, but boy can I work those hips...
(Also available as a gift!)


What do you buy the man who has everything? How about a glossy, personally-signed photo of Demis from the hit website, Perfect for wedding or birthday gifts, or just to stick it on your ceiling to gaze at as you fall asleep...

Got something you always wanted to know? Maybe you need some relationship advice? Ask any question, and I'll post you a VIDEO REPLY via YouTube. I used to be an editor so it'll definitely be damn cool! So ask away - I have ALL the answers...


If it is ME you want to know all about, I accept interviews for the low low price of $50. As a very busy celebrity, I'll get my people to talk to yours & see if we can fit one into my busy schedule. (Interviews via Phone/Email only.
TV interviews, if in Sydney.)

When I think of the word "NAG" I think of my wife - possibly the best nagger in the entire world. If there's something you REALLY can't afford to put off, let her rule your life for ONE WEEK with some constant, scheduled nagging via phone/email/sms!


Come and hang out with Demis in one of Sydney's coolest bars and enjoy a round of drinks on me! Of course YOU have to pay to get yourself to Sydney, Australia, and this offer is valid for one person, but what could be more awesome than drinks with me?

(NOTE : Additional "How is this gonna work?" instructions will be given right after payment!)

US$1,000    US$10,000   
The $1000 Premium Package includes the right to challenge me to complete a public dare, filmed, and delivered back to you via YouTube. Suggestions for these dares could include :

  • Any non-harmful public practical joke you can come up with, so long as I don't have to buy any cars, flights or hookers.

  • I'll hit the town in full costume (drag-queen, chicken, robot, celebrity)... whatever

  • Will run a half-marathon with YOUR FACE on my t-shirt or any other public display of love for you as my esteemed benefactor

  • Jelly-wrestling, skydiving ... YOU NAME IT, I'LL DO IT!

The choice is entirely up to you, though please be mindful of certain limitations (i.e. law-breaking etc.) before you lock it in, and feel free to email me before you buy if you want to run an idea past me first.
If you've got some REAL money to burn, why not buy yourself the $10000 Ultra Super Premium VIP Package? For this very reasonable price, I'll fly to you wherever you are in the world, hang out for the weekend and do your bidding.
But what does that get you exactly? Well, good question. Some ideas include :

  • I'll go to your high-school reunion as your "Exotic, Australian Husband" and lie as much as you want me to!

  • You are a Maasai warrior and have a wedding coming up, and heard about the awesome job I did as MC at one of my own friends weddings recently.

  • Your brother/colleague/daughter is a total loser, and you think it would be in their best interest to be taken out with personal stylist and all-round party-person, Demis of

  • Your name is Oprah and you REALLY wanted to buy the $50 phone/email interview, but would rather have me in person on your plush talk-show couch.

Really, this one is totally YOUR CALL. If you have that sorta cash to splash around, then heck, I'm good to go for whatever it is you can come up with.
Do keep in mind The Limitations i.e. no warzones, dangerous ghettos, and as much as I'd like to go there, Antartica is probably off the list this time round, purely because it costs more than this package does! (If you really want Antartica, gift me $20000 and we'll talk about doing that penguin documentary...)

Simply make your selection above, and once I have your cash, all instructions will be given to you on the next page - please email me if you didn't see them! All that I ask is that you keep it clean and legal, and I promise I won't pike out on you. I'm good for it, I promise!

All additional instructions as to "What to do next?" will be on the page after you've sent the money. And don't worry, if I haven't heard from you, you'll definitely hear from me, cause I really don't want to be sued for not delivering on my promises! :)

(In the event that I simply cannot perform one of the services for you, I'm more than happy to return 100% of your cash, with a pathetic yet reasonable explanation. Please see this list of things I won't do.)

So, what are you waiting for?

I Just Want Your Money!

© 2009